Anyone have Ralph's Cell #?


It’s 2004,


…and your world is a biological funeral pyre.

I watch in slow motion as two Orwellian campaigns speak of non-issues while our species crashes farther out onto the thin ice with each passing second…

I can’t believe this is happening.


     How many of you feel a sense of dread and sorrow, unable to stomach Bush or Kerry winning in November? 

…. I personally have never yearned for an offworld vacation more with the thought of either …being Commander and Chief come 2005. 

~100 million eligible Americans will not be voting in November. They know it’s a sham …and it’s somewhat obvious this time around even for the rest of us is.

If only we had a candidate who wanted what our troops in Iraq want and represented the vast majority of those who work for a living. 

Oh yeah, … we do. 

The Trouble with Ralph

Now, I voted for Ralph in 2000 and I cringe when I hear people criticizing him for running and being the least of three evils. So before I criticize you, Ralphie, let me say this, ….we are both striving to build the same kind of world.  I really hate to do this in public, Ralph, cause we are all trying to get someone like you ELECTED!  ….


Anyway, ...stop talking about how bad the system is.  Believe me, I know.  Why do you think I came here and listened to you for the last three hours? 

What are you going to do to fix it?  You bore me.   


      “Logic dictates leaving Iraq as soon as possible is far preferable to what either of two principle corporate  puppets are proposing.“


That’s Ralphspeak and he needs some help on the circuit.

I still love you, Ralph.   I simply speculate you'd a had a better shot if you were running with either Woody Harrelson or Willy Nelson, or any other well-known activist who is in tune with [y]our views.  Americans for the most part despise the corruption of both parties and therefore pay little attention to politics. 

I have a sneaking suspicion Bruce Willis and you would pretty much have the race locked up at this point in spacetime. 

... it is the truth is it not?    If Ralph had run with ...say ...Willy Nelson ... he realistically could be leading in Texas and California AND New York ... and just about everywhere else in between.   People would actually begin to listen to what he has to say.  

Face it, … the people who own the media, don’t want anyone but either Kerry or Bush to win.  They're not about to give the spotlight to Ralph or anyone else.


Anyway,  …Ralph’s got __ days left and the best idea I have heard is from Alexander Cockburn. [1]

 Go to Iraq and talk the troops into voting for you with a simple flyer PLEASE!!!!

You can pull 80+% of the troops in Iraq, because 80+% want to vote for whoever will get them home as soon as possible.  You could easily take “the other fifty states” when voters realize how bad our troops want to come home.  If you can take the “Iraq electorate” you can take the rest.

...Ralph the American people are extremely apathetic .... if you would streamline your campaign on a flyer your "army of discontent" can mass produce  and pass out  you might actually have a shot. Nobody knows what you would like to do!

Bush and Kerry’s campaigns are  soooooooo lame … they might as well be running together.  …I think they are.

Can we visualize an upset independent candidate winning via pure, streamlined logic.  Anyone have Ralph’s cell #? 

… … … …

Ralph, who loves ya?

You have only __ days to get your solutions in front of the American people who will vote.  If you lose to Bush because you couldn't streamline your campaign  ...I will not be a happy camper.  How can you lose to Bush?  I’ve got bonsais that can out think him and Kerry.  You’re the man with the plan.  You’ve got the best campaign, but no one ever hears it.


Can I please have a one thousand manifesto on what you want to do if elected? Could you please pass it out to the troops and  put it on your site so we can run off copies on our own.


Here's a few hundred word sample


Why vote for Ralph Nader?

Other than Bush and Kerry.

  My fellow Americans,

Invading Iraq was a terrible mistake. 

Our presence is inflammatory, as any vet will tell you.

Almost all Americans in Iraq want to come home now[2], and 90+% of all Iraqis would love to wave good bye. 

As President-elect, my first act will be to ask all Iraqis to join a cease-fire for a month to discuss what they wish to do and who is running on what solutions.  I will hand out the following flyer to all Iraqis:


"Iraqis ... please stop all violence against one another and our troops.  We are leaving.  We ask that you have elections two months from today.  Hopefully, you will be sane enough to honor this cease fire amongst yourselves .... and  talk about what to do and whom to vote for. 

You are the cradle of human civilization.  We feel you can act far more civilized than some of our own people have. [Imagine Iraqis coming here and torturing Americans.] 

All Americans will have completely withdrawn from Iraq as of __ ___, 2005.  We can create a real democracy in Iraq, but it is essential most of this violence comes to a halt before elections.


Remember, gas is at $2/gal because of the future uncertainty caused by our presence in Iraq and neither Bush nor Kerry have any plan whatsoever other than "staying the course".  

This is a serious drag on the world economy. 

Also economically the annual account deficit is at ~$600 billion/yr because Bush gave the top 1% of all Americans a huge tax break AND the rest of us this illogical war.  A progressive income tax makes sense because of the illogic of previous administrations.

If you make less than 50K a year and I have my way, you will no longer be paying any Federal income taxes.  Those in the 100K bracket, I'd even like to see as low as 25%.  [With increments in between 50K-100K/yr.]  Those of you are making 1M or more need to pay this nation’s taxes at 85+%.

The working people need tax cuts and the wealthy need to rid us of the debt they created themselves. My own version of the 'trickle effect' would be more aptly labeled the 'waterfall effect'. 


The 'Patriot" Act is an abomination.

The 911 findings are a whitewash.

The more you know the worse it is.

As President I will ask Congress to repeal it immediately.

It's sad some individuals went to such lengths to involve our nation in Afghanistan's natural gas and Iraq's oil.  

The wars for fossil fuels are extremely illogical as our planet warms. 

The American economy's annual trade deficit can be cut substantially if we use biofuels grown by America's farmers here at home while helping to cool our world at the same time.

 The way humans interact with their world’s biosphere is without a doubt the single most important issue of our time even if most are unaware of it.  By promoting biofuels grown by America’s farmers, we not only help to cool our world, we keep money here at home rather than sending it overseas.

 I will create real change in this country if you, the American people, help me to prod Congress into doing so ....and I manage to avoid being shot.


Ralphie?  You can't streamline what you would do to under a thousand words?  That's only 600 or so. 


I personally would like to you to attack Bush west of the Mississippi.  By promoting biofuels and going straight to the farmers with your flyer …you could take many a rural state which is firmly in Bush’s  grip.

What's wrong with the above?  ... Needs some more jokes?

Anyway, ...the tax plan and Iraq,  ... people want their taxes lowered all the time.  That should help you win right there when added to the fact you are the only onee propsing to do what the troops want.   I add in the biofuels because I would like you to attack Bush’s base.  It’s open and ready to be courted.

Please get the boys on the ground over there to pass out your flyer.  I bet you could pull 90+% if you showed the troops you're their only hope of  getting out sooner rather than later. 

Anyway, … can we please have a 1000 word flyer your “army of discontent” can pass out?

When you speak of corporate corruption it is a simple truth.  Kerry and Bush prove it.  Our leaders are technically braindead from corruption. At the very least it would be interesting to see what percentage of troops will vote for you.

Ralphie, only you can build a homegrown coatlition of the willing right here in America in 2005.  Is it going to happen?   Not likely, but it would be interesting to see what percentage you could pull if every American read YOUR flyer.  Your blueprint.  Your fix. 

There are so many who want to be part of it.

I know I do.




Will Binder is one of the founders of the Egghead Alliance. 

He encourages you to reprint this article at will and join him and his friends at